When you lose someone significant, the world can feel grey and empty. Waves of sadness might crash over you unexpectedly, triggered by a song, a smell, or a simple memory. You might feel angry – at the person for leaving, at the circumstances, at the world, even at yourself. Guilt and regret can play on a loop in your mind: “If only I had…” or “I should have…”

Perhaps you feel numb, disconnected from everything and everyone around you, just going through the motions. Maybe you find it hard to concentrate, sleep is disturbed, or you lack the energy for even simple tasks. Social situations can feel unbearable, either because you feel isolated in your grief or because seeing others happy feels painful.

If the loss was sudden or traumatic, these feelings can be even more intense, compounded by shock, disbelief, and perhaps even symptoms of PTSD. You might feel like you’re losing your mind, that this overwhelming pain will define the rest of your life. It’s a lonely and frightening place to be.

People often say, “Time heals all wounds.” While time can soften the sharp edges of acute grief, it doesn’t automatically resolve the deeper complexities. Grief isn’t just a conscious feeling of sadness; it’s a profound physiological and neurological event. It affects your nervous system, your hormones, and even the way your brain processes information.

Sometimes, the sheer intensity of the loss, the circumstances surrounding it, or unresolved issues from the past can cause the natural grieving process to stall. Unprocessed emotions like guilt, anger, or trauma can become lodged in your subconscious mind, creating a block that prevents healing. This is what leads to **complicated grief**, now formally recognised as **Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD)**.

Trying to simply “think your way out” of this state rarely works because the grief is held in the emotional, subconscious part of your brain, not the logical part. This is why traditional talk therapy, while helpful for some, may not be enough to shift the deepest layers of pain for those experiencing complicated grief.

My approach to grief counselling is fundamentally different because it works directly with the subconscious mind—the part of you that holds the emotional imprint of your loss. It’s not about forcing you to “get over it” or pushing you through painful memories. Instead, it’s a gentle, respectful process of healing from the inside out.

Using a combination of powerful yet gentle techniques:

• Clinical Hypnotherapy: Creates a safe, relaxed state where your subconscious mind is open to healing. We can revisit memories without being overwhelmed, allowing us to release trapped emotions like shock, anger, or guilt that may be blocking your progress.
• Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): Helps us to gently restructure the way your mind has stored the painful aspects of the loss. It allows us to change your perspective, not by denying the pain, but by integrating the experience in a way that allows for peace.
• Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT): Also known as tapping, this tool provides immediate relief by calming the body’s stress response associated with painful memories or triggers. It helps to release the physical sensations of grief (like that ache in your chest) and reduce the intensity of overwhelming emotions.

This is perhaps the most important question, and the answer is a resounding **NO**. A deep fear for many people stuck in grief is that if the intense pain lessens, it means they didn’t love the person enough, or that they are somehow forgetting or dishonouring them. This fear itself can become a powerful block to healing.

My entire approach is built on the foundation of **preserving the love while releasing the pain**. The goal is not to sever your connection, but to transform it. We work to help you find a way to carry the essence of your loved one—their love, their wisdom, their positive impact on your life—forward with you in a way that feels peaceful and life-affirming, rather than debilitating. Healing allows you to honour their memory by living your life fully, enriched by the love you shared, not burdened by unending sorrow.

Your journey through grief is unique, and we honour that. While there’s no set timeline, many of my clients begin to feel a noticeable shift, a sense of lightness and hope, within just **3 to 6 sessions**. For more complex or long-standing grief, we may work together for 8 to 12 sessions, always moving at a pace that feels safe and right for you.

The process typically involves:

• Creating Safety: Our first priority is creating a space where you feel completely safe, heard, and understood without judgment.
• Gentle Release: Using hypnotherapy and EFT, we begin to gently release the most overwhelming layers of emotion – the shock, intense sadness, or anger.
• Processing Unresolved Issues: We address any lingering guilt, regret, or unspoken words that may be keeping you tethered to the pain.
• Reframing Memories: NLP techniques help shift the emotional charge of painful memories, allowing you to access the positive ones with more peace.
• Integrating the Loss: We work towards accepting the reality of the loss and finding a new way to relate to the person or situation, incorporating their memory into your life story in a healthy way.
• Reconnecting with Life: Gradually, we help you rediscover meaning, purpose, and the capacity for joy, finding ways to honour your loss while embracing the future.

Healing doesn’t mean the sadness disappears forever, but it transforms. It becomes softer, less overwhelming, allowing space for peace, gratitude, and eventually, renewed joy.